im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
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we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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