omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
