He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
