She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
