She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
3 2 1 whiskey
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
