i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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