you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
