I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
