its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
