A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
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why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
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