There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
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