i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
