I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
