So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize