I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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