So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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