There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
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Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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