i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
