i don't like sucking hair
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
