So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
My pussy is not your playground.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
