What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
