his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Sext me about skeletons
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
