bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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