Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
