Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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