He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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