I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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