you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
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It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
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Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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