I wanna bring you to show and tell
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
