Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
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