i think my tv is drunk
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
