So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
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Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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