yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
