You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
