a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
