You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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