Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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