rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
