What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Is it because I queefed?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
