i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
