Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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