This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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