i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
