Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
