I faked an abortion last night.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
vagina is talking i cant
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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