so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I've blown a few things in my day
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
