i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
