i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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