I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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