Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
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he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
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If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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