Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
handjob tips. give me some.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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