I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
