He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
