I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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