im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
