There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
