Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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