Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
