# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
