It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
