Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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