there was a trapeze. enough said
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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