real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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