i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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