i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
