I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
